The dash between our mom’s birthday and death holds so much more than a hyphen can express.

The joy her parents must have felt on that first day when they saw their love in her smile til her last breath that brought her back to them and her heavenly Father. So much life and so much love! Daughter, Sister, Cousin, Friend, Student, Co-Worker, Bride, Lover, Wife, Sister-in-Law, Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, Volunteer, Nurse, Gamer (she loved her Pac-Man), Belly Dancer, Caretaker, Bartender, Traveler, Great Grandmother, Florist, Event Planner, etc. The list could go on.

One word describes her for us girls-

HERO!

Mama wanted her girls to “Do” her funeral. Of course, we just are too devastated to get up in front of you overwhelmed by our loss. But we did want to share a little of her “dash” with you.  

Mama, you were the First heartbeat we heard, the First voice we heard spoken, the First beautiful face we saw.  You were our guardian, our advocate, our friend, our Mama.  You gave us all a great example to live our lives.  The sound of your heartbeat will be with us forever as that heartbeat was pure love.  You are in our hearts forever.  We loved you first; we loved you the longest because that love will never end.  Give your First love and longest love a kiss and hug from us all.  Love you always Mama.

Lover of all things flashy! If it lit up, danced, twirled, played music, flapped, had sparkles or sang a song Mama loved it and loved to share it with the grandkids and others.  The joy she got and gave in that was priceless.  I can see her walking into the room with her smile anticipating the kid’s reaction.

Sunday Dinners. No need to say more. Our day of rest! Not Mama’s. That’s nearly 2000 dinners she cooked on Sundays for us. She always made sure we went to Granny’s on Sunday growing up. We’d stop at Aunt Nell’s and Grannies after church and then for Supper we’d go to Granny Pete’s. We all learned to drive coming home from there. Mama would take a nap since she worked third shift and she’d leave the driving to us. Not really! But that is where we first learned to drive. The friendship with our cousins is priceless. The bond we have as sisters is unbreakable. Thank you Mama!

Forever the image of my Mom and Dad greeting each other their last few mornings during her illness will live in our hearts. Mama just knew the time Daddy would be getting up and she was ready- sitting on the side of the bed. They would embrace each other and kiss. Daddy would sit beside her and hold her hand. They would talk. We would be fighting back tears. They were thankful they had another day. We were thankful we could witness their love. The day Mama found out she had cancer- before we even knew there was nothing to be done-he held her hand as we traveled up the hall, loving her the entire way. Supporting her. Both showing us what courage and love looks like.

Mama’s two treasures are her Charlies. When told that Mama was going to go be with Jesus Saturday morning, Charlie Brown, as we have always called him, went in and held her hand and prayed for her. The love of a special child like Charlie was a gift Mama never backed down from and she made sure he was always spoiled and taken care of. She has challenged us to carry on her legacy.

Although these past 2 months have been so stressful and quite frankly very scary, I have been comforted by my family. I have been so afraid of losing my anchor because mama has always been that for me. But I found out that it is the ship that holds my family together that I was afraid of losing. So I am glad to know that my mama was actually the sail. Ready to take us to new places together. We have left the shore but we will meet her there again. We will skip the pebbles of time across the waters and watch the sunsets together. And the sunrises will be beautiful.

Heaven gained a beautiful angel yesterday. Magic was in my grandma's touch and sunshine was in her smile. There was love in everything she did to make life worthwhile. I found both hope and courage by just looking into her eyes. Her laughter was a source of joy and her words were warm and wise. There was a kindness and compassion found in her embrace and I seen the light of heaven shinning in my grandmas face. She will forever be missed and she's taught me so many things in life and I don't know where I would be without her. Miss you so much and I love you!!!

I was her first baby girl. She would tell everyone that I was her only present she received that year for her Birthday. You see I was born that day, so she could not take it back. My Mother was everything to me. I had her for 62 years and I will always remember all things she has instill in me to be the person I am today. She was my mama first and then she became my best friend. I know today that she is heaven with her mother, father, and her brothers and sisters and they are having a great celebration with Jesus.

Daddy said today that we are all so different. That we don’t all think alike. That’s Mama’s fault. She raised us to think for ourselves, work hard, be loyal, give back, fight for what’s right. Vote. Stand up for others. Love unconditionally. If we loved someone, she did too. If we were uncertain, she’d get us started. If we needed direction, she’d point us in the right way. We used two different four letter words to describe her. Some of us used Moma while the others used Mama.  Didn’t matter cause it was the four letter word “Love”.

I wish I could give you more days. But I cannot. But what good are days. We get up with the greatest of expectations. We later find that the day has slipped away, filled with the mundane, filled with busyness whose purpose makes us ask big questions about life or ourselves. I cannot make a day. If I could give you time, I would give you a moment. Moments are almost always special, remembered, treasured. Remember your first kiss. The sound of chubby feet on the floor as your baby learns to walk.  The feel of the cool ocean as you slip into the waves. The moment of relief when you get good news. Moments when you cried from joy or smiled when you were proud.  I wish you moments. And I thank you for all the beautiful moments you gave me. And for the moments that I made you sad or worried. Or made you ashamed. For the moments that I took more than I should or misspoke. I ask your forgiveness. I wish I could take all the bad ones away. But I cannot. Just know that I have loved you with every beat of my heart.  Every moment in my life has had you in it. And it always will.  You are loved.

I wrote this letter to my Mom to read before she became too sick to read or talk. I was not there when she read it but I hope she knew that I loved her. I am sharing it because I want others to know the hard lesson about time. The hourglass is a cruel thing. It has no feelings as the sand pours out. It cannot refill for us either. As we go through life, we all have moments that we regret and moments that we wish could be perfect. We strive for that perfect moment. In the meantime, life goes on. It is imperfect, hard, cruel, and so amazing at the same time. That’s how the past few weeks have been with our family. We wanted a perfect ending to a beautiful life. We came as close as possible- but here’s the truth that can’t be denied, the fruit of the tree, the root of the problem… our lives are changed forever. The moments in our lives that are the most defining ones are often small ones. And imperfect one’s.  What matters the most is who we are fortunate to share them with. The nights spent with my sisters as we have gone through this are so special to me now. The last morning that I saw my Mom and Dad kiss each other good morning will remain in my heart forever. My brother praying for my Mother… well, that was a blessing. I have been fortunate. I have had so many special moments with my mother that I am thankful for. My Mother always told me that you only live a lifetime. But that lifetime may only be one day. That “seize the day” attitude is great. But in the end, seize the tender moments. Love each other. Forgive freely. Accept that we are all different but all want the same. In the end, time will always run out. The sands will be depleted. Lives will change.  But Love never dies. In the end, God will flip the hourglass over and it will never run out of sand. I will share new moments with my Mother. Until then, I love you Mama. Be at peace but watch for me. We will all be together again.

         Almost every Sunday of my life has been spent with my grandparents for dinner.  While there my grandma made sure no one ever went hungry whether for food or love.  She made sure that every Sunday dinner had enough for everyone to eat, made crab legs for Christmas dinner and every afternoon when she would pick me up from school she would insist on a snack.  She entertained all with flashy toys and stories.  While we all miss her we know we will see her again!

I can remember, even from a young age how much I absolutely loved and admired my grandma. Sunday dinners was what I looked forward to every Sunday night. It was even more exciting to me when we moved in at her house, while waiting to get our new house. I remember how special I felt telling all my friends that I got to live with my grandma and papa. I'll always cherish the time I was able to spend with her, especially in the garden. She started my love of gardening. She's such an amazing, beautiful woman and a pillar for our family. I'm going to miss her so much, but I rejoice that she is now with Jesus!

I know living so far away we missed some Sunday dinners but that made them all the better when we were Home. No matter where we lived Grandma and Grandpa's was Home. I told Grandma when I was little that she needed to buy me something at Belks because Grandmas had all the money. Little did I know then how much wealth she had in the love that she had for her family. She raised some pretty strong minded women who have raised some pretty great kids. I can only hope I do half as well as the past generations. Grandma has also passed down her shoe addiction to which my husband is not pleased. This also extends to her great grand children. She was the best Grandma with so many memories that I will pass on to my girls.

I'm truly grateful to have had grandma in my life. She was always a part of my holidays growing up. Whether we were in Kentucky, Missouri, Florida or the countless places we've lived we could always look forward to our grandparents visiting. I remember playing cards a lot with grandma and I believe she tried to teach me gin rummy but introduced me to Phase 10 because I was never good at rummy. I remember a blizzard when I was a kid where we had a week off school and Grandma and Papa couldn't leave. To me it was great to play those card games all day. I know my siblings and I always enjoyed when we'd visit in the summers and she would give us strawberry daquris, no alcohol of course.... One of the last things grandma told me when I was saying goodbye was to "Be happy." I know remembering these moments along with the many others will always help me live up to that request.

It is hard to follow all the sentiments that are expounding on here about a woman who we all loved immensely. The memories we all shared of Grandma are precious and I'm more than overwhelmed with the out pour of love for our mother and grandmother. Reading what was shared demonstrates the effect she had on each of our lives. Some of my fondest memories of Grandma surrounded her teaching me. Her lessons were simple yet many. Be it how to give a proper hug every time she saw us, how to play Secret and Rummy, how to cut an onion (Sorry Grandma...I still don't use this one) or use a cane fishing pole, she was never shy to show her wisdom. Watching her interactions with everyone showed me that you can be firm and loving at once. She taught me the importance of a good book on the beach and to appreciate the epic of Gone with the Wind. She showed me out to crack subtle jokes and that a bargain is a bargain. I am lucky to have called her my Grandma and I will miss seeing her and listening to her stories. I am also lucky that she instilled in me the importance of small lessons that I can continue to share with my future family and friends. She lives on in each of us through the little lessons she conveyed. Thank you, grandma, thank you for the treasures that I can share.

         You never know true love until you know the love of a grandmother. Grandma once told me that she loved doing things with her grandchildren because she didn't have time to do with her own children. Now I believe it. The memories of my life are filled with adventures, laughing, shopping, and be-bopping around town with grandma.  She gave me a home and love when I felt I had none.  She was always the first person I would stop to see when I would come home and the last person I would hug before I left.  I was lucky enough to have spent most all of my childhood and early adult life living with my grandma. I was her baby lumps and she certainly spent her time spoiling me rotten. I watched her as I grew up, I was in awe of the shining light her smile and beauty brought to a room. Her displays of care and compassion for others never went unnoticed by me. Her passion for life and her family is unlike anything I have ever seen. I hope I can be a fraction of the woman my grandmother was. My grandmother was an amazing person to everyone she met. Although her life has ended on this Earth, its just beginning. She may no longer be walking beside us, but the light of her smile, the softness and tenderness of her touch and the gentleness of her soul will continue to shine through her family until eternity.

         Mama was called "Mike" by her brother Clyde. She loved that! Michael, Michaela, and Rachael''s name bear witness to that. She was also Grandma Mike to some.

         The Lord does not give a person more than they can handle; so the Lord must have known that Mama would be an extraordinary strong woman, capable of handling so much. She not only took care of her family, she made the time to take care of any others in need.  She always did so with a compassionate heart.

         I wish you could see yourself the way God sees you and the way I do too… as someone very precious who need tending to right now, someone worthy of his love and so cared about by others.  After all, you’re God’s child.  He made you in the first place and would never just let you fend for yourself.  He’s always had His hand in your life, and I know He still does.  I’m so grateful for all the gifts he gave you… your talents, your sense of humor, your inner light… all the unique qualities that add up to you. And I’m so grateful He put you in my life and in the world to do what no one else could do, to fill the place in our hearts that no one else could fill. Please always remember how much you matter to me. I love you Mama.

         Much to our delight we found out two important and special  things as we were writing these “dashes” about our Mother and Grandmother. We all remember different and unique things about her. That is wonderful because she was unique and different. Not different in a weird way but different in the wonderful fact that not many people are so blessed as we to have had her in our lives.  She will live on forever not just in our hearts but in our actions and interactions with others. Mama accepted each of us as our own individual person. No matter how different we were, she loved us. We’re looking forward to our homecoming with her!

 You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine.

Mama’s Favorite Movie was “Gone With the Wind”

She shared her love of this with her children and grandchildren.  Below are some favorite passages and words of wisdom still true today. 

“If Gone With the Wind has a theme it is that of survival. What makes some people come through catastrophes and others, apparently just as able, strong, and brave, go under? It happens in every upheaval. Some people survive; others don't. What qualities are in those who fight their way through triumphantly that are lacking in those that go under? I only know that survivors used to call that quality 'gumption.' So I wrote about people who had gumption and people who didn't.”  Quote from Margaret Mitchell

“Make up your mind to this. If you are different, you are isolated, not only from people of your own age but from those of your parents' generation and from your children's generation too. They'll never understand you and they'll be shocked no matter what you do. But your grandparents would probably be proud of you and say: 'There’s a chip off the old block,' and your grandchildren will sigh enviously and say: 'What an old rip Grandma must have been!' and they'll try to be like you.” 

“They were the eyes of a happy woman, a woman around whom storms might blow without ever ruffling the serene core of her being.” 

“Burdens are for shoulders strong enough to carry them.” 

“After all, tomorrow is another day!”

“I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.” 

“Hardships make or break people.”

“It was better to know the worst than to wonder.” 

“Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them.” 

“Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it's no worse than it is.” 

“And apologies, once postponed, become harder and harder to make, and finally impossible.” 

“Never pass up new experiences [Scarlett], They enrich the mind." - Rhett Butler” 

“Child, it's a very bad thing for a woman to face the worst that can happen to her, because after she's faced the worst she can't ever really fear anything again. ...Scarlett, always save something to fear— even as you save something to love...” 

“That is the one unforgivable sin in any society. Be different and be damned!” 

“Now you are beginning to think for yourself instead of letting others think for you. That’s the beginning of wisdom.” 

“She was as forthright and simple as the winds that blew over Tara and the yellow river that wound around it.” 

“What’s broken is broken—and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I live…I’m too old to believe in such sentimentalities as clean slates and starting all over.” 

 “To Scarlett, there was something breath-taking about Ellen O'Hara, a miracle that lived in the house with her and awed her and charmed and soothed her.” 

“I won't need you to rescue me. I can take care of myself, thank you. - Scarlett O'Hara.” 

“I was right when I said I’d never look back. It hurts too much, it drags at your heart till you can’t ever do anything else except look back.” 

“Some day I’m going to do and say everything I want to do and say, and if people don’t like it I don’t care.” 

“Don't you suppose men get surprised after they're married to find
that their wives do have sense?"
"Well, it's too late den. Dey's already mahied.” 

“She was going to rush into life and wrest from it what she could.” 

“I’ve got something that most pretty ladies haven’t got—and that’s a mind that’s made up.”